Just try not to come off like a creeper if you do ask, and really try to absorb the advice the other commenters have provided. *Actually, I was a lifeguard in another life. I loved the store and my job and loved that part of it was to talk about my interests with customers who shared those interests. One of the firemen involved found one of my coworkers to be attractive. No one is saying that you cant meet people in public places or even workplaces. She again said no. What would think if one of your employees asked out a customer? Thanks for your perspective on this Bri because this is something that I was really wondering about. Studies show that men are not actually able, on average, to pick up on disinterest, if theyre interested in the person. When I worked in retail, I probably would have been flattered if someone hit on me but I was a teen boy. You could also do a step in between. When on a date with the cashier, maintaining good posture with respect and honesty is key in having successful elevations in your relationship. how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? We've just spoken briefly a few times i doubt she remember who i am, "i have won million dollars lottery in cash and i can't count them! Practice in front of a mirror or with friends, so that you are comfortable speaking and expressing yourself before you actually approach the cashier. While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. To me, it'd come across as a creepy behaviour. Alright so I used to work retail. I had to go back to the store later that week to pick something up. If you really, and I mean really think she's interested (and I mean really, like not in your dreams) slip her a phone number and that's it. Finally, she asked him out. We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. I think the key here would be to respect the fact that she's stuck in that work place and just give her the opening and see if she responds. A lot of comments here are from women saying they get hit on non-stop (and I dont doubt that) but I dont think that really happens to guys (with the except of a select few). I too worked retail and was both hit on and asked out. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Please have some respect and let me have my JOB as a safe space! Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. But this objection, that there is no other way to meet people besides asking them out when they are WORKING, is pretty silly. Do it OP. I know you get tips at chipotle, but thats a bonus thats split by everyone in the restaurant, not the source of your income. For a male, the odds are stacked against you. I got hit on constantly at this job and hated it, but this guy was different and I always looked forward to seeing him. cashier NB They were both well into their 30s when they met. I took her for granted and now shes gone. Inviting the person to a group thing seems way more comfortable than asking them on a date, in my opinion. Above all else, be respectful, kind and courteous no matter what their response is. I've talked to a cashier girl at the grocery store a few times and she has been somewhat flirty a couple times. To help us answer, can you edit to give some more detail on the "signs she gave you" which seem promising? You could either leave her your phone number and tell her to say hi sometime (and I stress that you leave her your number and do not ask her for hers) or you could be a This is while there were a line of people waiting for my attention. Its possible that he is burning with desire for you but would get in serious trouble if he asked you out on a date. She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. A new cashier joined my local food shop. Anyway. But those of us who are normal dont actually do anything. Simple things. Q: What should I do if the cashier rejects my invitation? Im not interested. If you ever want a tutorial in why this is a Very Bad Idea, go ahead and read the Craigslist Missed Encounters section, particularly the men-for-women. She'll now believe I go there just to see her and while you can't be judged in court for this, she will think it's creepy, she'll then tell her co-workers and they'll start to subtly take a pick on you. To help you build up the courage to take the plunge, it is important to focus on feeling more confident. Also regarding not having much time because there's a lineup. Find out something I did it once. # About This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. This is not okay and very creepy. I cant tell you how many times a guy mistook my friendliness for flirting with him. Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. Right, this proscription would mean nobody in college would ever go to a party. Women should never go to an unfamiliar mans private address. This will help reduce any anxiety and make it easier for you to get the words out when the time comes. By engaging the person in a discussion, you can explore their biases and try to clear up any possible misunderstandings. Seriously. Poor, oblivious Husband. I worked for years in retail when I was younger and fended off unwanted requests for dates successfully and without any kind of emotional scarring.). Ask and offer advice for specific dating situations. That is classic. As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. Since there's a lineup it may be easiest if you have your number written on a piece of paper to leave it with her. At the end of the day, Im with Captain Awkward. But its still a business interaction. Her having to worry about that violates the principle of empowered. No luck again today =( maybe its because I'm actually looking for her as opposed to noticing her when she around.if that makes sense. They can't just go around giving in to anyone, they have to be picky. isn't found by making her uncomfortable. Don't make it awkward. One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. If the only conversation youve ever had is the normal chitchat when he rings up your purchases. In this case, the crush could have ignored it. Most notably, the fireman passed his number through those people to give to her, and left it up to her to contact him if she was interested. Im sure there are plenty of wonderful people who have found their partner by asking someone out while they are at work, but Im also sure there are plenty of people who have found partners by asking out their employeesthat doesnt mean the power dynamic isnt there, and that we should generally caution against it as a result. The OP posts an innocuous I see you every day at the 7-11 and I think youre cute but the employee thinks she posted the one that lists off 200 acts the Kama Sutra never dreamed of. Thank you for the follow-up. If hes staring at the OP its more likely because he thinks the OP is a potential shoplifter than because hes romantically interested. ;). Asking while she is serving you as an employee violates empowered because she is effectively cornered: she can't step away, she has to serve you. Don't go forcing this or setting up though, because again that might just gain you the 'creep' label and might seem like you're stalking her however you do handle that encounter. Each party is still evaluating the other.). How to flirt with a cashier - GirlsAskGuys If he says, Oh, I have to get home, maybe hes not so interested. A "yes" response would be very cool and and allow you to follow it up with a proposition like, "sometime this week at x coffee shop, is there a good time?". phillist this is what immediately sprung to mind to me when I read this question. There is nothing in OP's post to suggest for example that he lives in a large city where the cashier is expected to be little more than a machine element. Youre not leaping from someone making your latte to a dinner date, AND youre not forcing them to respond right away, you know, when theyre working. NC for a month already, I dont think shes coming back. This doesn't require breaking any of these rules, but it requires finesse. When I was newly single (and loving it) after an early, long marriage, I ended up chatting regularly with a nice and nice-looking young man who worked in the produce department of my usual grocery store. :). My advice would be to tentatively engage in a light cashier-related conversation, even if it's just a "Hello again" and a pleasant smile. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? Please dont do this! Id hesitate against saying dont ask the employee out entirely, because sometimes asking someone out can lead to good things, but Id definitely caution against relying only on signals within the store as the basis for his interest. I think, for women especially, there is also the matter of fatigue. Bustle Answers always gonna be no if you dont ask. Worse the job requirements often entail being nice to customers, and definitely engaging customers and remaining at ones post. I know you will, though, I believe questions related to love on this site are mostly looking for that one answer of "do what your heart tells you", but seriously - your best bet, really is to establish rapport in another way. Because at least some of us have gotten really, really scary reactions from men when we turned them down. LOL did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. Some do. I may have spent several hours of my life yelling, YES OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT IS HER JOB at my computer. This is an advice about how to do it, now keep it mind that people mostly tell you not to do it. Asking a cashier out is not always an easy prospect. The pressure to respond positively to those interactions to avoid A Scene is so high! Who do I talk to about putting something on the store's bulletin board? See thats how it should be and how it generally happens in my world, but Im getting the impression that these days theres a lot more creepy people out there and like I said earlier thats just sad that our world has gotten to the point where people assume the worse first and not the other way around. And for what its worth, having been a barista and worked at Target, there really wasnt any appreciable difference between being asked out and being hit on. Idiot. He seemed interested until I got a text from him later saying he couldnt make it. Im assuming that some places have policies about this sort of thing but have no idea about the policies at this store. The world is as creepy as its always been, but women have been learning to push back against some of the crap that society heaps on them as a punishment for merely existing and being female. Q: What should I do after taking a cashier on a date? This is why I always do coffee or something comparably simple/safe (so not dinner, movies, etc.) Show confidence. Am I the only one remembering Taylor the Latte Boy and Lisa the Stalker Chick songs? So I wouldnt just give a blanket no as advice. I have a fair number of female friends, and many (Id wager most) feel flattered when a man approaches them confidently and in a not-creepy or inappropriate way. Some were way too persistent. If I helped, Im glad! Stack Exchange network consists of 181 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers.
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